Archive for 11. March 2010

PUNS FOR “DISCRIMINATION MINDS”

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi. 

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned
out to be an optical Aleutian .
  

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.  

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because
it was a weapon of math disruption.
  

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder
     and got a little behind in his work.
  

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

 7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering. 

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blownapart.
 

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are
looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said
to the other: ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.’

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the Grass.’

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.
      When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said
‘No change   yet.’

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small
medium at large.

 20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a
seasoned veteran.

21. A backward poet writes inverse.

 22. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your
count that votes.

 23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

 24. Don’t join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

 25.  A crowded elevator smells different to a midget.

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