What do Marriage Counseling, Doritos, and the Vatican have in Common?

1. March 2010 by admin.

I’m going to cover 3 things today, two to lift your spirits
and one to get you to re-think what you eat and /or change your eating habits.

First: Marriage Counseling

A husband and wife came for counseling after 20 years of marriage.

When Asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful Listing every problem they had ever had in the 20 years they had been Married.

She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, Loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of un-met Needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the Therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to Stand, embraced and kissed her passionately as her husband watched with a raised eyebrow.

The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.

The therapist Turned to the husband and said, “This is what your wife needs at least three Times a week. Can you do this?”

The husband thought for a moment and replied, “Well, I can drop her off Here on
Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish.”

Second: Doritos Chips

I just read an article about, of all things, Doritos chips. It was about their
new advertising campaign. This really shocked me as I hope it does you. I seldom
buy chips and now I will never buy Doritos brand of anything. (Always read the
labels to see who makes the product.)

The main message was that “You would kill for a Doritos.”

 At first glance it sort of seems innocent enough.

You need to read the article and watch the videos if
you have the stomach for it’s implied sickness.

Visit here:
http://www.naturalnews.com/028264_Doritos_advertising.html

Do yourself and your family a favor and cut down on junk foods and junk drinks.
This is an excellent reason to boycott Doritos.

Third: VATICAN HUMOUR

After getting all of Pope Benedict’s luggage loaded into the limo, (and he
doesn’t travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the
curb.

‘Excuse me, Your Holiness,’ says the driver, ‘Would you please take your seat so
we can leave?’

‘Well, to tell you the truth,’ says the Pope, ‘they never let me drive at the
Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I’d really like to drive today.’

‘I’m sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I’d lose my job! What
if something should happen?’ protests the driver, wishing he’d never gone to
work that morning.

‘Who’s going to tell?’ says the Pope with a smile.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel.

The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the
Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 205 kph or 123 mph. (Remember, the
Pope is German.)

‘Please slow down, Your Holiness!’ pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps
the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.

‘Oh, dear God, I’m going to lose my license — and my job!’ moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches.

But the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the
radio.

‘I need to talk to the Chief,’ he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he’s stopped a limo going
205 kph.

‘So bust him,’ says the Chief.

‘I don’t think we want to do that, he’s really important,’ said the cop.

The Chief exclaimed, ‘All the more reason!’

‘No, I mean really important,’ said the cop with a bit of persistence.

The Chief then asked, ‘Who do you have there, the mayor?’

Cop: ‘Bigger.’

Chief: ‘ A senator?’

Cop: ‘Bigger.’

Chief: ‘The Prime Minister?’

Cop: ‘Bigger.’

‘Well,’ said the Chief, ‘who is it?’

Cop: ‘I think it’s God!’

The Chief is even more puzzled and curious,
Chief: ‘What makes you think it’s God?’

Cop: ‘His chauffeur is the Pope!’

Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
Give me the grace to see a joke,
To get some humour out of life,
And pass it on to other folk.

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